i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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