I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
