I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
