is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
