those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
