Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
