Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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