All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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