So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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