I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
