if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
