Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
