Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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