I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
