Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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