At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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