We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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