Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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