So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
