Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
