i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
