would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
