kristin has been a bad kristin
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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