I CAN MOONWALK!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
