I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
