dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
