Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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