I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
