Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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