I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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