So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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