got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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