im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
