get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
