Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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