Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
