I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
