Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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