I am puke
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
