She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
