ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
