I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
