Apparently you make a good broom.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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