Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
