I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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