wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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