This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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