You can't special order awesome
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
