But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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