There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
